With the up and coming Eurovision song contest of 2013, we thought we’d scour through our previous UK contestants of the 21st century and reminisce on how wonderfully talented they all are… What actually occurred to us is that the majority of our past performances have proved to be a long line of epic fails. From out-of-tune wailing, to questionable outfits, our average position of 18th place is certainly not hard to beat.
2000 – In 16th place, our first UK contender of the new millennium Nicki French sang “Don’t play that song again”. Not the worst voice I’ve heard in the list, but possibly the worst outfit. Either way, please don’t play that song again. Please.
2001 – Lindsay comes in at 15th place with “No dream impossible”. Unfortunately, the chance of winning the contest with this could be described as nothing *but* impossible. Sorry Lindsay.
2002 –Jessica Garlick with “Come back”. What a refreshing change this made. Jessica came into a respectable 3rd place, being the highest ranking UK Eurovision artist of the past 15 years. Come back, Jessica!
2003 –*Cringe*. To say that this was a performance is a real overstatement. Jemini finished last in 2003 with a well-deserved ZERO, with the hit “Cry baby”. What on earth were they thinking? Worst UK performance to date. Fact.
2004 – *Cheese alert!* James Fox took on Eurovision 2004 with “Hold on to our love”. His cheesy grin and boyish charm only took him so far though, coming in 16th place.
2005 – Javine Hylton’s bhangra-esque attempt to win the Eurovision with “Touch my fire”, seriously backfired on her, placing her in 22nd place.
2006 – Whether this deserved to slowly crawl up the rankings from 2005 I don’t know. With a group of cockney teens to back up some questionable rap, Daz Sampson brings the UK into 19th place for with “Teenage life”.
2007 – Hang me now! This cringe worthy song and accompanying outfits and dance moves makes Scooch’s “Flying the flag (for you)” one of Eurovision’s low points. Shame on U.K….
2008 – Despite being rather dated, Andy Abraham’s “Even if” certainly got my feet tapping under the desk! Managing to hit the notes and throwing in some groovy dance moves, this is a definite improvement on other UK performances of previous years. Unfortunately, it still came last in 25th place.
2009 – The second to reach the top 5 within the 21st century of Eurovision– in 5th place, Jade Ewen certainly wowed us all with her voice, singing “It’s my time”. It really was. High five, Jade!
2010 – With the UK coming last, (again), Josh Dubovie sings, “That sounds good to me”. Albeit not a winner, it certainly deserved higher than last place. Maybe next time, Josh.
2011 – Blue managed to save our reputation of remaining in the bottom 10, singing “I can”. Popularity or talent? I wouldn’t go with the latter, but we’ll celebrate the boost to 11th place regardless. Woop!
2012 – Engelbert Humperdink. No, we’ve not heard of him either. Good job really, taking us down 14 places from last year into 25th place with “Love will set you free”.
With the 2013 song contest close by, we can only hope that good old Bonnie Tyler will do us proud, and hit that top 5.
GO BONNIE, GO!